Big Brother (or Mother)
Originally published April 25, 2013
It’s been nearly 5 months since my last post. I’ve just been so busy; I haven’t even found a spare moment to pick up my dry cleaning. As you all know, I’m an extremely successful entrepreneur, a leading figure in Texas’ libertarian party, a staunch capitalist, and in the process of completing my PhD in neurophysiology. There aren’t enough hours in the day to keep up with my various obligations but somehow I manage not only stay afloat, but dominate in everything I do. Given my success, I believe that it is fair to assume that I am extremely intelligent, overwhelmingly capable, and exceedingly logical. Ordinarily no problem is too big to tackle, no puzzle too difficult to solve, and nothing unsettles me…..until recently.
Over the past few months I’ve begun to notice something peculiar. My mom always seems to know how I spend my days. Two to three times a week I’d return from an outing and she’d say “oh, hello there Diggy, how was your drive?” At first I didn’t think much of it, but then as time wore on I thought to myself, how does she know I went on a drive? How does she know which park I went to do read my various scholarly journals? How does she know that I had attended a conference in Washington, DC? Rapidly my curiosity turned to alarm, after all – I’m no fool, surveillance is everywhere these days. The notion of privacy has dissipated and the evolution of 'smart' technology has all but robbed me of my liberty.
By this point I had nearly worked myself into a full-blown panic. Sure I had installed topnotch security on my multiple laptops, sure I had anti-theft and intrusion devices, but was that enough to protect my proprietary information? I anxiously paced from the spacious, luxurious, living room into the regal office. Just when I thought I couldn’t work myself up any further, I noticed something on my mom’s computer that pushed me over the edge and into full-on hysteria.
I would expect this from the government. But I would never expect this from my mom. I'm speechless.
