“December 10, 2023, a date that will live in infamy” — Diggy

If you are reading this, perhaps it is because you knew the world's most narcissistic dog, Diggy.  In your time knowing Diggy, whether long or fleeting, he likely inconvenienced you in some way.  He almost certainly stole food from you, took items out of your room, emptied your trash can, or engaged in some other debauchery.  Diggy passed away on December 10, 2023, at the age of 15.  We are heartbroken but grateful for sharing this life with him. 

Vance and I spent quite a bit of time humanizing Diggy.  He was a Libertarian billionaire CEO who only loved his mom, abused his employees, and lived in a world of delusion.  He poured unspeakable amounts of money into research to cryogenically preserve himself. He considered himself a true patriot and veteran, celebrating himself every year on Veteran's Day, when in reality he was involved in mass weapons production and distribution.  He loved Wall Street and capitalism and hated unions, liberals, student debt holders, and the media.  He disparaged people’s looks, income, and careers and advised they should just be more like him.  Every year he produced a christmas CD and bragged about going platinum.  Unbeknownst to him, his staff bought up all the CDs and stored them in a warehouse.  Diggy advertised himself as a genius, philanthropist, billionaire, playboy -- he stole that from Tony Stark and only one of those things is true.  He credited himself with the famous line, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall."  Diggy's life, personality, and morals most closely resembled that of Mr. Burns.  

In our eyes, Diggy impacted many of your lives.  Whether he spilled a full bowl of soup in your lap, leapt through the air to snatch a hamburger out of your hand, deliberately claimed your bed knowing it made you extremely uncomfortable, dug up chili you buried in the backyard of the Haunted House, or purposefully lured you away by stealing stuff out of your trash can then tossing the trash in the air in your view so that you'd go pick it up and he could run over and eat all of your charcuterie. Diggy stole so, so much charcuterie, specifically from Phoebe.  He ate people's plates of food exhibiting such masterful trickery that as so many victims said, you just couldn't be mad.  

He faked injuries in order to be carried on walks in the Texas heat, then would miraculously recover once home in the AC (my mom carried him home from two walks while visiting in Texas), would hole up alone in the dark after getting a vaccine, and defeated Vance in multi hour hour whining stand off to be let outside to sunbathe.  More than once he stole meat off of a plate from the counter without causing the plate to fall to the floor. To this day I can’t begin to understand how he did that.  As he got older he would scream at me when I walked in the door, seemingly berating me for having left.  

To us, he was one of a kind, smarter than many people, and will be greatly, greatly missed. I had the privilege of sharing my life with Diggy for 15 years.  He moved across the country with me to law school, moved to Texas with me and Vance, and back to Virginia.  For the last nearly two years he coexisted with our son, Otto, and largely used him to steal food from and otherwise ignore. As he did to Jazz for the first 5 years of her life.  He was my constant companion through the highs and lows. When his health suddenly dipped last summer I was terrified I would lose him during a time when I didn’t think I had the capacity to bear his loss.  I truly believe Diggy stuck around until I could manage. Only then did he finally tell me, and Vance, that it was his time and that sadly, all of his efforts towards immortality had failed. 

To say Diggy was difficult is an understatement. After all, you can’t be mischievous, devious, calculating without also being a huge pain in the butt. For those who didn’t know Diggy, or met him late in life, his blog post “Heathen: A Pseudonym for Diggy” is an accurate depiction of him in his prime. However, despite being the world’s most challenging dog, we wouldn't go back and change a thing about him.  He has left a massive hole in our hearts and our lives, a physical void in our home more enormous than we ever could have anticipated.   I am sure Vance and I will grieve Diggy for quite some time, and I am certain Diggy would want it no other way.  

Thank you for creating memories with our irreplaceable family member.  Though painful now, these memories will long make us laugh. 

Thank you for reading and for knowing Diggy.

See you again, Diggy. A note from your mom.

Dear Diggy,

15 years ago I picked you out from a picture. I chose you because they called you boots and boots was my grandpas nickname, so it felt like fate.  However many weeks later I picked you up from the airport with the Phoebe and Lindsay.   I got you at a time when I had no real business getting a dog let alone a puppy. But I know as I sit here with you years later that even though I was young, I did right by you.

We have had so many adventures. We lived in California for law school. Mom shipped you for me in a sweater she made.  She’s here with you now.  So many times you made her go to bed when she didn’t want to bc you stood at the stairs whining.  In California, and everywhere, You touched so many lives there, you truly were the Lawschool dog.  I remember when mom visited and she was out walking you and Brandon walked by, who she didn’t know, and he said hi to you.  You may recall you spilled a full bowl of soup in Brandon’s lap.  You just were that dog - engaging, dynamic, a trouble maker and everyone loved you.  We went to Texas with your dad who is also right here with you.  You baked yourself to death in the sun, loving every second of it.  You came all sorts of places with us. You kept me company there when I had no friends and knew no one.

We drove home to Virginia and took you on another gas station tour of America. You loved gas stations. We stopped in New Orleans where we took our favorite photo of you perhaps of all time.

We have been in Virginia for almost 10 years. We lived with a roommate in Alexandria who you manipulated and stole food from. We took you to the beach where you again roasted in the sun. We went hiking and to wineries and on so many walks. You went to parties with us, restaurants, and I brought you to stores probably before it was appropriate. We couldn’t bring you to our wedding but you were there as a cut out and in spirit.  Finally we bought you this dream house where you spent the last two years exploring the yard and rolling in things until you couldn’t anymore.

You’ve been my constant companion in life, truly a dog like no other.  During genuinely very hard times you were with me and I am forever grateful.  You tolerated Otto these past two years and for that I’m grateful as well. It was a lot to ask of an old man who largely looks out only for himself and still hasn’t accepted that we got jazz 7 years ago.

Though so tiny now, you will leave a massive hole in our hearts and lives. Your absence from our home is larger than I ever could have anticipated. You are everywhere here, and yet you are nowhere. I am certain I’ll never find another dog so human like, so intelligent. So deliberate in his actions.  Patrice always said you were a human dictator from another life trapped in the body of a dog, a tiny tyrant. She’s not wrong.

Thank you Diggy. I love you. Please visit me when you have time. I’ll be looking for you.

Love, your mom.